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Love Letter #31 : Afraid

Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Dear You,

It's feels like so long time ago I hadn't these things going on me.
It keeps come and go as always. My heart still beating fast when the time come.
For more than a decade, it's always been you.

I really not sure how i describe you into words. Those words are letters, that combine and got some meaning of it. Mine are feelings than can describe to a lot more than just some words nor sentences.

Seeing you every time is a blessing that God give it to me and also something that can hurt me.
How you means so much to me, it's makes me afraid sometimes that our time would come to the end.
I really afraid that I just can't let you go. Instead of say anything that revealing this up, I just keep staring at you, and enjoy every single second your presence are. I'm just so afraid that I could lose you, lose us, lose whatever we had these times.

That much afraid? Hell yeah!

I don't know since when this thing growing in me, but sooner or later that truth day will come, and i would say whatever my heart should say earlier.

I don't know how you feeling about me. All I hear from you was, your dream girl doesn't sounds like me, at all. That's makes me scare even more.

Sometimes, all we need to do for someone we love is supporting him/her. Because, our opinion based on our heart saying and it might be not the best thing for them. Supporting (within reason) is the way to keep them, stay.

Dear, I am afraid to lose you, remember how important your presence are to me. Could you do one favor to me? If something goes wrong, please don't let me stand alone? Or don't go without saying goodbye? I know you might be gonna hate me, because you think i'm lying, but honestly i don't. This is just my way to keep you stay, right here, beside me. It's hurt to listen about your dream girl someday in your dream house, but at least i can see you smile and hear you laugh.

Sometimes, when we love someone, just to hear their laugh and see their bright smile, although our feeling might just like clapping with one hand, it feels nice. It's doesn't matter, as long as we eyes to eyes, as a friends. Hang in there, buddy, someday if the time has come, i'd come up to you. I hope not in the wrong situation.

Be there for me, buddy..

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