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Weekly Notes #3

Monday, October 19, 2015
Dear You,

I apologize for not writing the weekly notes #2 and just jump to the number 3, I was sick last week. I know it wasn't the real reason, but it was one of the main reason why I haven't write any post for the last couple weeks. I tied up with something, other than work. Can't really tell, because I don't know what to tell anyway.

So, little bit scoop of my update. Tonight I went out with someone I used to know back then. It was nice evening, went out for movie and we talked. Nothing serious, nothing personal either. It was just small talk. But, then I saw one post from Instagram. A quote.
It says "Don't look for happiness in the same place you lost it." It hit me, just like that. Brief story, I was lost my happiness to this person 2 years ago for some stupid reason he said to me. For all the reason of losing happiness, this one was the cruel, dumb and stupid but also the truth one, the one kind that you just can't deal with it.

Tonight, it wasn't about me look for the same happiness from the same person again. No, not about that. It's about me looking for my new happiness, a peace with my past life. For the reason I can't explain, sometimes it's just hard to let go. When its happening, we tend to hate the person that hurt us, that makes our heart ached so bad, then finally we can let go the past.

I used to feel that way. I used to hate him because what he did to me 2 years ago. But then what? I keep hating him, makes me hate the part of my self too, it's round circle that will never end. Then I got a stupid idea to become just a good friend again with this person. Sometimes it doesn't work, because I still want him to feel as much pain as possible, the way I felt back then. Oh man, I could write all the pain like for couple page long. But then I know I got nothing.

Hatred is one silly feeling. One thing for sure, he got his own karma and God made him pay it. Its already win-win solution. And I feel nothing. Okay, I was smiling and grinning when I heard about it, he deserved it. But do you know what I really want from him? One sincere apologize from his deep heart. That's it.

Life taught me a lesson. It doesn't have to be us that give them some sweet revenge. It doesn't have to be us who give them lessons. What we can do now (after being hurt of some jerk-badass) just let it go whatever hold us. When the time is right, they will come around and feel guilty about what they did to us before. We just need to be good and welcome them. Welcome them, doesn't mean you forget what had happened before (this for avoiding being dumb for the second time).

I know bad memories wont go that easily, but doesn't mean you can't make peace with them. Sure it needed time to heal everything, but sure too you can do it.  Let go your past, don't think much about it, and let God do his job to help and protect you, so you can get back there and have your own beautiful life.

Good night & good luck little fellas! 
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